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$pread Magazine - Issue 4.1
Indecent Proposals: Gulliver's Travels in Web-Cam World
By Madame Mystery
In the late ’90s—back in the days before Visa surcharged adult businesses, a slew of Internet-based credit card processors went under, and Paypal refused transactions involving anything of an adult nature—I ran a relatively successful webcam site. While the majority of the content was “Live Coed Dorm Room Broadcast!” most of what viewers actually watched was me reading or trolling about on the Internet. Occasionally friends would walk in and the viewers would ask questions as we chatted with them.
Besides charging for access to the site, I would do one-on-one private webcam shows. One afternoon, a viewer asked to go private with me. I accepted his request, he paid the fee, and we began the show. He surprised me by asking what I imagined it would be like if he were shrunken down to a speck of a man. I wasn't sure how to respond and asked him to clarify.
“What would you do if I was an inch tall standing on your tongue?” he asked.
I was taken aback. In fact, I had never considered a one-inch man standing on my tongue before. I took a moment and then responded, “Well, I would let you inspect my teeth and look around the dark, smooth and wet surfaces of my mouth. You would tickle my tongue and if I laughed, I might very well swallow you!” He seemed excited by this prospect.
Our webcam session took yet another twist I wasn't prepared for. He told me he loved uvulas and wanted to see mine. I finagled the cam close to my mouth with my left hand and held my desk light close to my mouth with the right. I watched the images broadcast on my computer, feeling like an oral surgeon inspecting the terrain of my patient’s mouth. In fact, it was really interesting, albeit bizarre. I can’t say I’ve ever done that before.
My client typed feverishly about wanting to massage my uvula, to prod and stroke it. I imagined my uvula to be some sort of Freudian shrunken testicle. He wanted to get a better view so I stretched my jaw as far as I could, letting the camera slip slightly inside my strained mouth while balancing the light. He happily reported back on his state of arousal, enjoying an up-close and personal view previously shared only with my dentist. Let’s just say that discovering the erotic potential of the uvula helped me branch out into a larger spectrum of fetish work.
What’s the weirdest or funniest thing a client has ever asked you to do? Send your Indecent Proposals to contribute@spreadmagazine.org or mail to $pread Magazine, PO Box 305, Cooper Station, New York, NY 10276.
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